Ada woke up so sad and tired. As she heard a knock at the door, she quickly changed her countenance to avoid giving herself out. “Yes, come in.” Ada responded as the knock resounded repeatedly. Her mother came in looking so worried. “Mummy good morning” Ada greeted her mother and immediately stood up from the bed. She went to her drawers searching for nothing in particular, just to keep her mother’s curious and inquisitive eyes off her. “Good Morning my dear. Adanna, are you sure you are alright?” “Yes Mum.
On hearing about her father’s return, Ada’s heartbeat increased fiercely. She tried talking but her voice betrayed her and she kept quiet. Her mother moved closer to her and held her so close. “Please my dear, you can confide in me. I’m quite sure something is eating you up. Remember that you can always confide in me. I promise to always understand you. Are you having any problem with Tony?” “Mum, I’m pregnant! Yes, I’m pregnant. I can’t hide it anymore because it’s killing me.” “What? Chei! Ada you’ve killed me! Ada why? Why do you have to do this to me and your father? So you’ve been sleeping with Tony” “No Mum. Believe me, it was just once and it was a mistake. I don’t just know what happened. Tony promised me we were not going to do it but we ended up doing it. We were together in his house and before we knew it, we did it. Mum, believe me. We didn’t plan to do it. We have been waiting for the right time to explore each other but we were overpowered by emotions.” “Chei! Ada, what do we do now, daughter of a pastor wedding with protruding tommy? When did this happen?” “Three months ago.” “What? Three months ago? And your wedding comes up in eight months’ time? Ada egbuo mo! Ewoo !”
Step 5
PHYSICAL INTIMACY
Decide what your limits would be and write them down. Remember that as you store up your treasures of physical intimacy before marriage, every sacrifice that you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other in marriage. At that time, you will be able to delight in the beauty of giving yourselves to each other completely and totally. And your pleasure in marriage will be magnified by your time of waiting. Learn to respect God’s wish especially on premarital sex, disobedient on this breaks good relationships. MAKE YOUR BOUNDARIES CLEAR AND STICK TO YOUR THEM!
PHYSICAL INTIMACY
Decide what your limits would be and write them down. Remember that as you store up your treasures of physical intimacy before marriage, every sacrifice that you make to stay pure becomes a jewel for you to share with each other in marriage. At that time, you will be able to delight in the beauty of giving yourselves to each other completely and totally. And your pleasure in marriage will be magnified by your time of waiting. Learn to respect God’s wish especially on premarital sex, disobedient on this breaks good relationships. MAKE YOUR BOUNDARIES CLEAR AND STICK TO YOUR THEM!
Step 6
KEEP THE ROMANCE ALIVE
Remember that courtship is a time of romance. Don't cheat yourselves out of that. Enjoy dynamic, exciting, God-glorifying romance. Couples who engage in an intensely physical relationship often lose out on this very point because physical pleasure has become the focus of their relationship but couples who do not distract themselves with physical intimacy have more time to spend creatively doing romantic things for each other. Send romantic poems, text messages, mails, and gifts especially during anniversaries. Have fun. This season of life should be fun and filled with adventure
Step 8
HOW, WHERE AND WHEN YOU SPEND TIME ALONE
During courtship you obviously would want and need to spend time alone together. But how and where are important questions. If you are spending time alone late at night or in complete isolation, you may just find that your resistance to sexual urge is weakened. It's better to find time alone together while doing something, e.g. going for a walk, playing indoor games, or hanging out at exciting places etc. Avoid the near occasion of sin.
HOW, WHERE AND WHEN YOU SPEND TIME ALONE
During courtship you obviously would want and need to spend time alone together. But how and where are important questions. If you are spending time alone late at night or in complete isolation, you may just find that your resistance to sexual urge is weakened. It's better to find time alone together while doing something, e.g. going for a walk, playing indoor games, or hanging out at exciting places etc. Avoid the near occasion of sin.
Step 9
DO NOT GIVE RISE TO SCANDAL
But what if we're not being tempted? Why wouldn't it be alright to be off, alone, in isolation, for example staying late over at one or the other's apartment alone? This is where we get into the whole issue of giving rise to scandal. The problem a couple faces here, even if they are strong enough to resist all temptation, is the impression they give to others. "What about it?" You may ask. We know we're not doing anything wrong!" When others perceive you to be leading an impure life, it gives them a different perspective about purity. They'll be thinking, "After all, they're doing it and they're nice Christian couple. Obviously it doesn't make any difference if we do or don't." Even though you had been embracing purity, you still misled others to believe you weren't. In this way you would not be helping to build the body of Christ. Rather, through the scandal you would have given rise to, you would have inadvertently led others to sin. It is our sense of responsibility in the body of Christ that leads us to make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of others when we decide not to give rise to scandal.
DO NOT GIVE RISE TO SCANDAL
But what if we're not being tempted? Why wouldn't it be alright to be off, alone, in isolation, for example staying late over at one or the other's apartment alone? This is where we get into the whole issue of giving rise to scandal. The problem a couple faces here, even if they are strong enough to resist all temptation, is the impression they give to others. "What about it?" You may ask. We know we're not doing anything wrong!" When others perceive you to be leading an impure life, it gives them a different perspective about purity. They'll be thinking, "After all, they're doing it and they're nice Christian couple. Obviously it doesn't make any difference if we do or don't." Even though you had been embracing purity, you still misled others to believe you weren't. In this way you would not be helping to build the body of Christ. Rather, through the scandal you would have given rise to, you would have inadvertently led others to sin. It is our sense of responsibility in the body of Christ that leads us to make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of others when we decide not to give rise to scandal.
Step 10
BE ACTIVE IN YOUR FAITH COMMUNITY
Courtship is a great time to grow in faith together and to spend time together in your faith community. In this way your relationship is supported by like-minded people who will celebrate with you in time of joy, console you in time of sorrow and lifts you up in time of hardship. You cannot live in isolation, you need that community to be there for you and this means that you have to be there for them as well. Be involved in your community activities, volunteer service time together, and join in prayer groups and Bible studies together. This gives good opportunity to spend time together, in a larger group setting, help you to learn much about each other by seeing how your partner deals with a variety of situations and other persons .It also stands as wonderful opportunity to dedicate your time and talents to God.
However, do not overlook and manage obvious reasons why you should not be together as husband and wife, that would be a dangerous step. But overlook petty quarrels and misunderstanding that crops up every now and then, that’s what makes you human. Incessant fault findings should be totally avoided.
BE ACTIVE IN YOUR FAITH COMMUNITY
Courtship is a great time to grow in faith together and to spend time together in your faith community. In this way your relationship is supported by like-minded people who will celebrate with you in time of joy, console you in time of sorrow and lifts you up in time of hardship. You cannot live in isolation, you need that community to be there for you and this means that you have to be there for them as well. Be involved in your community activities, volunteer service time together, and join in prayer groups and Bible studies together. This gives good opportunity to spend time together, in a larger group setting, help you to learn much about each other by seeing how your partner deals with a variety of situations and other persons .It also stands as wonderful opportunity to dedicate your time and talents to God.
However, do not overlook and manage obvious reasons why you should not be together as husband and wife, that would be a dangerous step. But overlook petty quarrels and misunderstanding that crops up every now and then, that’s what makes you human. Incessant fault findings should be totally avoided.
Step 11
PREPARE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE, NOT JUST YOUR WEDDING
Many people spend time, money, energy and effort in preparation for their wedding without doing so for their marriage. Majority prepares for an excellent marriage but end up in a miserable marriage. A lady in courtship that does not know how to cook, keep the house etc., should be more concerned on how to learn all these important tools so as to build a wonderful home. A man that is in courtship should be more concerned on how to be a man because we have 60 year old boys and 20year old men. Any man that beats a woman is still a boy no matter his age. He should also be more concerned on how to build his career and finances in order to take up his responsibilities in the home very well. Before the wedding preparation, both the lady and the gentle man in courtship should plan on how their wedding should be. They should sit together to make a budget for their wedding bearing in mind that financial responsibilities awaits them immediately after their wedding till the end of time. People have made the mistake of spending all their savings for a world-class wedding that later left them in a world-class poverty. There’s no trophy for the best wedding ever. So, be wise and make a wise budget for your wedding so that there won’t be any reason for regrets at the end of the day.
Conclusively, Bible says in gospel of John 15:5, “for without me, you can do nothing.” The same Bible says that you can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you. Cling to God. Make Holy Spirit your best friend and Teacher to direct your steps in all your endeavors so that your plan would be perfected.
PREPARE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE, NOT JUST YOUR WEDDING
Many people spend time, money, energy and effort in preparation for their wedding without doing so for their marriage. Majority prepares for an excellent marriage but end up in a miserable marriage. A lady in courtship that does not know how to cook, keep the house etc., should be more concerned on how to learn all these important tools so as to build a wonderful home. A man that is in courtship should be more concerned on how to be a man because we have 60 year old boys and 20year old men. Any man that beats a woman is still a boy no matter his age. He should also be more concerned on how to build his career and finances in order to take up his responsibilities in the home very well. Before the wedding preparation, both the lady and the gentle man in courtship should plan on how their wedding should be. They should sit together to make a budget for their wedding bearing in mind that financial responsibilities awaits them immediately after their wedding till the end of time. People have made the mistake of spending all their savings for a world-class wedding that later left them in a world-class poverty. There’s no trophy for the best wedding ever. So, be wise and make a wise budget for your wedding so that there won’t be any reason for regrets at the end of the day.
Conclusively, Bible says in gospel of John 15:5, “for without me, you can do nothing.” The same Bible says that you can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you. Cling to God. Make Holy Spirit your best friend and Teacher to direct your steps in all your endeavors so that your plan would be perfected.
Dear friend, I enjoy having you in my world because your happiness and fulfillment means a lot to me. Hope the journey to the land of “Life Before I Do” was worth it? Keep in touch for yet another interesting and life changing topic. Remain lifted my dear friend.
I'm really acquiring a great knowledge here. Tnx ma.
ReplyDeletevery educative..keep up d good work
ReplyDeleteRemain lifted dear
ReplyDeleteThank you dear.
ReplyDelete