It is very common to hear people say, “I didn’t mean to say that. He misunderstood me. Her facial expression is very friendly. Her smiles can melt a heart of rock. He wears a strong face. She hardly smiles. He’s too difficult to work with because he keeps to himself. He believes he knows it all and can never admit he’s wrong, etc. All these and many more are different positive and negative way people communicate. Communication can easily attract people to you and can also make you to be very repulsive to people. It all depends on how you handle it.
Communication is a very important building factor in interpersonal relationship. It is very important because it involves more than verbal messages. It hurts so much to be misunderstood or even misinterpreted. That is why it is very important to communicate carefully and clearly. Some people may be passing a wonderful message verbally but the expression on their faces speaks the opposite of their message. You must learn to communicate carefully and clearly to avoid being misunderstood. Strong communication skills involve
listening closely and expressing yourself clearly in person, over the phone and in written communications.
Speak clearly.
In some occasions, such as business meetings, it may be necessary to speak concisely and get right to the point. In a conversation with a family member, communicating effectively may involve elaborating on feelings. Communication between colleagues in the office is quite different from the communication shared by husband and wife. A sales person making presentation to his client does not need romantic terms and expressions to pass the right message to his or her clients. He (both genders) needs to wear a facial expression that depicts confidence. A sales person uses words and terminologies that centers on the goods or services he is trying to sell but a husband and wife do not need such formal terms and expressions to communicate and relate with each other. Couples who communicate very well in their marriages share their thoughts, feelings, needs and desires, without fear of retribution. Couples who understand the importance of communication don’t get hung up on things like, “Will she be mad if I told her this?” Or, “What would he say if he knew this about me?” They should be able to discuss freely and express themselves on their romance and desires. They should be able to freely talk about what they enjoy most during love making. Each situation is different, but the ultimate goal is to use language that is clear, respectful and effective for getting your message across. Take care of your tone and pitch as well.
Listen carefully.
Communication is much more than just talking. It’s also about listening. Many conflicts arise from misunderstandings. When you find yourself lacking in the development of interpersonal relationship and want to know how to improve, start with developing your listening skills. Learn to listen to people when they are talking to you. Most people do not take time to really listen. When the person(s) they are interacting with is speaking, they may be engaged in a conversation in their mind where they are constructing and planning on what to say next. Do not always be ready to attack or defend. Watch it when you feel that you must talk during an argument because such moment is when you end up talking out of point. Allow your conversation to flow freely and naturally and also think before you talk. Good communicators are first and foremost, good listeners because they have made a practice of listening and understanding what others say and can respond accordingly. Learning how to listen is an integral component of effective communication. Listening to others helps to clear up miscommunications. As people are talking, focus on their words, tone of voice and body language to understand the true message. Be a good listener. Pay attention to the body languages, facial and verbal expressions of your spouse. Pay attention to your children. Listen to the complaint and correct them when they have finished speaking. Learn not to shout them because that would make them withdrawn from you. Listen to your employee to explain and express himself before you draw your conclusions. Pay attention to your boss to get the details of what you need to work out good result. Pay good attention when you are in any meeting. Do not always be in a hurry to speak. Try to listen more than you speak and encourage others to express themselves by listening to them and you will quickly develop and build good relationships.
Avoid argument and understand that you can never be right all the time.
When you are involved in an argument, you can agree with me that you are ready to listen to NOBODY. All you are interested in is to talk and win, because the essence of argument is to prove a point and win, whether the point is in place or not. No matter how correct you believe you can be all the time, you will do much better if you stay calm and actually listen to what the person next to you has to say. He or she may actually be right! And if you still believe that you are right, calm down and present your point later on, in a friendlier manner. Do not make people to resent you because it will block them from understanding and working with you. Consider how you would feel in the same situation if you were in their shoes, then you can easily come up with a very tactful, non-threatening approach. Argument between husband and wife yields no positive result. The wrong moment to prove a point is during hot argument.
If you are wrong, admit it.
So, if after an argument, you later discovered that you were wrong, what would you do? Some people get defensive and just wouldn’t ever admit that they are wrong. Please learn to say, “I am sorry. Please forgive me, I was wrong”. Don’t be that person who can never be wrong in his or her life! Apology does not make you a weak person. You will get much more respect if you come out and say that you were wrong or admit that someone else was right. No one will kill you for being wrong because we all make mistakes! But people will turn on you if you appear so self-absorbed that you don’t even realize that you’ve made a mistake. Use the magical words (sorry, please, thank you, excuse me) whenever the need be. Appreciate a junior officer for a job well done and apologize to him when the need be. Thank the cleaner that did good job. Appreciate your wife for serving palatable and sumptuous meal. Appreciate your husband for giving you good treat. Appreciate a child for doing his chores so well. Don’t hold back those beautiful words. Speak them, express them and live them.
SMILE! A good smile is a contagious, powerful, attractive and nonverbal invitation for a friendly relationship. People will naturally gravitate towards you because of your sunny disposition. Not only will smiling make people around you feel better, you’ll also feel better. It is a wonderful nonverbal way of communication. I call it the best natural make up because it gives you the best facelift anybody can offer. It is more powerful than we know. Smile to an angry face and you will melt the strong heart. A sales person that doesn’t smile can never compete with someone who wears warm smiles. A wife that welcomes her husband with warm smile has already created a friendly environment. A husband that smiles on seeing the wife after a hectic day is already passing a friendly message across. You need smiles wherever you go because it’s highly influential. Make it a habit to wear a good and warm smile.
Now that we know, knowing is not enough but doing it.
It’s wonderful having you in my world. My desire is to see you succeed in all your endeavors.
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