The Beauty of Life 2

I don’t know if you have ever found yourself in a situation where you were obviously angry but refused to accept that you were angry? It even got to the extent that you were ready to shout down the roof to prove that you were not angry even when your actions portrayed an extremely angry man? Have you ever found yourself in such situation? I have also met people that believe that they are born hot tempered and cannot do anything about it. The truth of the matter is that anger is an emotion and every emotion can be controlled, managed and kept in check.
This can only be achieved if you believe and take the steps that will be discussed later in this article. Probably you have met some people in life that you got so irritated just because of the way they behave? Maybe the person is a talkative/ keeps mute more often than usual. Maybe this particular person is quite humorous/does not tolerate humor at all. May be the person likes an organized and neat environment/ does not give a hoot if the whole house is scattered. Maybe this particular person is an outgoing person that easily makes friends with people/keeps to himself except when someone approaches him. All the above listed behaviors are what we either exhibit or see in people we relate with every day. You may like some of the behaviors but it is not possible to like all. How then can you manage those you do not like to avoid hurting the person involved?

STEPS IN BUILDING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
The development of interpersonal relationships is the key stone in building what you want to achieve in life. How you interact with others, your body language, the tone of your voice and the expressions on your face are just as important as what you say, if not more important. Interpersonal relationship involves more than just the verbal communication between people. People communicate as much with their gestures and body language as they do with their voice and words.
STEP 1: Build your Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand, manage and use emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict. When you are highly emotionally intelligent, you will be able to discern and understand your own emotional state and that of others around you, and relate with them in a way that draws them to you. You can use this understanding of emotions to relate better to other people, build strong relationships, achieve greater success at work, and lead a more fulfilling life. Emotional intelligence can be built when you work and concentrate on;
• Self-awareness – Recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence. Let us use anger as an example. When you are angry, accept that you are angry so that you can work on your emotion.
• Self-management – Still using anger as an example, always bear in mind that when you appear angry, people will immediately get defensive and you cannot solve a problem in that mood. When you are angry with someone, take a few minutes to calm down and think about what you need to say or do. If you go into a situation with a calm attitude you are more likely to get to the bottom of the problem and come up with a reasonable solution. Therefore, to manage yourself effectively means to be able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways. My therapy is DO NOT TALK OR ACT WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY!
• Relationship management – Now that you know exactly how you feel when you are angry, you should always be ready to accommodate and understand someone next to you when he or she is angry. That is why you shouldn’t take any word said out of anger to heart. The way you handle an angry person can make him or her ashamed of his actions and take corrections when he comes back to his senses because anger is insanity. An angry man is an insane man who can destroy things in a twinkle of an eye. The angrier you get, the higher the insanity. So, for those who talks about ill temper as if there’s a trophy attached to it, should actually be ashamed of it because they are more or less temporary mad people even when God created them to be sane.
However, worthy of note is also the knowledge of Temperament. Without the knowledge of temperaments, we will often treat people wrongly. So, there is every need for us to study the four types of temperaments (Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic and Phlegmatic) so that we can easily understand why people act the way they do.
Temperament is the manner of thinking, behavior or reacting characteristics of a specific person.
Sanguine: The sanguine temperament is basically impulsive and pleasure seeking. Sanguine people are sociable. They are talkative and never shy. They tend to enjoy social gatherings and making new friends. They also tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and imagine a lot. They have high level of self-confidence. They are sensitive, thoughtful and compassionate. However, they are chronically late in keeping appointments; they tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. They tend to lose interest on projects and even people as soon as they seem not to be engaging or fun.
Choleric: The choleric temperament is basically ambitious and leader-like. They are very energetic, aggressive and passionate about things and they try to instill it in others. They can dominate people of the other temperaments especially the phlegmatic. They simply like to be in charge of everything. Moreover, the choleric tend to be highly disorganized or highly organized. They are extremists. They easily fall into depression and very much prone to mood swings.
Melancholic: They are basically introverts. They are often perceived as thoughtful and considerate. They can be highly creative in poetry and art and can also be preoccupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. The activities of Boko Haram give this set of people sleepless nights. They are perfectionists. They are self-reliant, independent and can be preoccupied their activities and forget to think of others.
Phlegmatic: This set of people is basically relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. They tend to be contented with themselves, no matter how little. They are generally kind, tolerant and affectionate. They are receptive and somewhat shy. They often prefer stability to uncertainty and they dread change. They can make wonderful administrators because they are consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious and observant, but they can also be passive and aggressive.
Now that we know all these, knowing is not enough. Can we practice them?
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