Sex and Marriage

How come when people are single, they are so hungry to explore their sexual treasures, the first few years of marriage is filled with sex in different styles, at every nook and cranny of the house and at odd hours, but after the few years you see some people coming up with excuses? How come some married women are even handling love-making as one of the domestic chores you can ever think of? How come some men and women are seeing sex as a favor to their partners? How come some people actually serve it as ration? Can somebody tell me why a woman would starve her husband sexually, simply because he cannot meet up with some of her financial demands?
Why would a man play “over busy and tired” at home but run to the arms of another woman at any given opportunity?

There is a particular topic that people avoid discussing but funny enough, this topic is so important that no normal marital relationship can survive without it and that topic is sex. Recently, there was a case of a young woman who got married and insisted that love-making MUST be according to her pace and wish. The saddest part of the story was that her ALMIGHTY wish and pace comes up OCCASIONALLY, may be once in blue moon. It used to be tug of war before the husband could have his way. I begin to wonder if the act can still be called LOVE MAKING. I think WAR MAKING can fit in better or don't you think so? When the young man couldn't take it no more, after so much pleading, explanation, advice, counseling, etc and it wasn't working out, (trust men now) he confidently got wrapped up in another woman’s arms. Now the lady is running helter-skelter binding the demon that possessed her marriage. I've also handled a case where a lady had to practically beg for her conjugal right. Her husband's excuse for denying this young woman her right was that “he's a BUSY man”.
Well, I know that some women that hate truth will not like this article. Some women who accuse me of being so hard on them when it comes to issues on relationship and home may not like this article but the truth is that whatever the Bible says, if you meditatively analyze it and practice it, you will live happily. Have you ever wondered why the Bible calls women home builders? Have you wondered why Bible says that a wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears her home down with her own hands? This is to tell you that 90% if not 99.9% affairs of the home are entrusted in women’s care. Women, I strongly believe that we have to sit up because we have more task at hand than we believe. For us to really run a smooth relationship and home, we really need to sit up. If as a married woman and all of a sudden, you can no longer seduce your husband, you can no longer make him to come looking for more, you can no longer make him yearn for you, then something is seriously wrong somewhere and the earlier you trace where the problem is coming from the better. I keep saying it; you can be the women leader in the church but please do not ever cease being the lady fox, the hot chic, and the sexy cat at home. A woman once came to me for counseling and she complained about her husband’s sexual demands and desires in bedroom. I looked into her eyes and asked her one question that jolted her to reality. I asked her the first question, do you enjoy his actions to you in bedroom and she quickly answered in affirmative with cute smiles written all over her face. And I asked her the second question, “are you ready to delegate that part you complain about, to another lady that will smartly, expertly and willingly give it to him the way he wants it?” and she shouted, “Sister, no now!” And I told her, “Well, the truth is that you should immediately sit up and adjust before someone else takes over.” She looked at me with eyes wide open and today, her complaint has changed to testimony. See, the truth is that, men naturally love sex and they can go to any length to get good sex. Every married woman should be ready to give her man good sex. I cannot really tell you how many times, when and where because it’s a decision and agreement left for every couple. Every couple should have convenient and unique period for love-making. Some like it very early in the morning while some do prefer it in the night. When and where, all depends on choice and agreement. Meanwhile, do not ever allow ANYTHING to come between you and this wonderful experience. Bible gives room for one exception and that is during special spiritual programs which must be agreed by both. I’ve also handled a case where a woman makes it a habit to go into prayers whenever her husband snuggles closer in the night for love-making. It sounds so funny and crazy at the same time but it happens. I mean, what prayers could be more important than obeying God? Bible says that once a man and a woman ties the nuptial knot, their respective bodies belong to each other. So a man has the right over his woman anytime, likewise the woman. Why would a woman expect her man to rush back home when all she does is complain about almost everything and quickly goes into prayers once they are in the bedroom and prays till the man dozes off, only to resume the prayers once the man wakes up in midnight for that same thing? Of course he will wake up countless time because he has not been fed or have you forgotten an Igbo adage which says that when a child eats that which keeps him awake, he quickly goes to sleep? Women, we can do better than this n-o-w!
How about those women who are so careless with their dressings? This is so common with Christian women married to Christian men. One thing we must never forget is the natural make up of men. Men are created in such a way that they are attracted by what they see while women are attracted by what they hear. That’s why a woman can afford to be with a man that deceives her as long as he keeps telling her how much he loves her. I can never understand any woman that abandons herself because she believes that her husband is a “tongue-speaking-holy-ghost-baptized-born-again” that cannot be unfaithful. Women, do not be deceived. Every man needs a mother, wife, girlfriend, concubine, mistress and blessed is the man who can find them in one woman and more blessed is the woman who can be all at the same time. Did I hear you say it’s not possible? It is VERY possible. In-fact, check out any happy man that enjoys a wonderful relationship with his wife, behind him is a woman who is a total package. Men and women are not the same. God knows the qualities and virtues He invested in women and that’s why He calls them “Home Builders”. As a woman, make sure that you’re living up to that title because it’s an uncommon title. If you think otherwise, why didn’t God call men same? Before you cry that your man cheats or do not have time for you, try as much as possible to make sure that you are not the cause. Before you go to prayer houses to bind demons attacking your marriage, make sure that you’re not the demon.
However, in as much as I do not encourage infidelity at all, I still encourage women to strive to keep their men faithful. Please help these men to remain faithful to both God and their wives. I feel for them for what they go through on daily basis. A man who goes out from his house in the morning, suffers sexual harassment from what this generations wear as cloths, till he goes back home in the evening. With all he sees in the day time, he deserves to come home to a sexy, inviting and hot chic and not someone dressed like his grandmother. If he wishes to see his grandmother, I believe he knows the exact place to find her. Women please, learn to dress in those sexy wears as he rushes home, help him out of his jacket, lead him to the bathroom and give him a good bath, lead him to the dining room and serve him a good meal, lead him to the bedroom and take him to a paradise that he can never ever forget.
Honestly, majority of men that are unfaithful today did not plan to be unfaithful but there are things that some women do that drive them to do things that they really would not have wished to do. Yes you can say that men are polygamous in nature. Fine! There’s no doubt about that. In fact you have a good point there but that’s more reason why you should be any woman that he desires to be with. Be a mother when he is troubled and needs a shoulder to lean on. Be a wife when she needs a woman that makes her complete. Be a bitch and that fox when he needs a girlfriend, concubine, mistress and even a call girl. Yes! The moment you say “I do”, is the moment his sexual desires and needs are entrusted in your care. I don’t believe in the saying that men don’t think with their brains but with their penis. Sexual intercourse actually starts from the mind. If you don’t think about it, you can’t and will not do it. There is always something that sparks off in the brain that sends the signal to the penis. What they see is what they react to. So please stop tormenting your man with “born-againism”. Stop punishing them just because they embraced salvation because you will be answerable to their falls if you do not take care of their sexual needs when you have sworn to do so. Please take care of yourself and make yourself ever appealing and enticing to them. They want to feel loved and whether we like it or not they are our first babies who desire words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem. - They want to feel WANTED and DESIRED all the time. They want to know you are still sexually attracted to them. They don't want you to make it obvious that you are smarter even if you are. He doesn't want to come home to a “grand mama looking wife” who is entirely different from the sexy curvy woman he fell in love with. It’s quite repulsive for a woman, smelling onions and oil all over, to open door and welcome her husband home, when she had finished cooking long before the man came back home. At least take a shower before he gets there or if there is no time spray perfume. - They want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home. - They want to walk into the bedroom with the bed all made up and cloths arranged. Maybe a small note on his pillow saying I love you and I am glad you are home, that definitely puts an automatic smile on his face even if for three seconds, it keeps him interested in you - They want you to be a good listener not just a talker. - They want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them. They just want to see that you are making an effort to become a better person, not necessarily a perfect person because no human is perfect.
Women, believe me, if you fail to be what you’re expected to be to your husband and if you fail to do what he desires as a man and even what the Bible recommends and approves, a younger version of you will cross his path and that is exactly how the demons start the attack. When that demon starts, hmmmmmm! It will take only God’s intervention to expel the demon because any lady that accepts to do that which you neglect and be that which you ignore, will so rock his world that coming home will become a case. And bet me, it’s difficult for a man to resist any woman that is ready to give him that which he wants and the best way he wants it. Christian women, please wake up!
It’s so good to have you in my world. Please don’t forget to leave a comment. Thank you!